How to Keep a relationship GOING/GROWING ???
Have any1 of you all reading the blog post....ever felt like this before....i read this from a magazine and it was about this couple....who were married for several years....and they knew each other inside out......bad habits.....personal hygience.....character....pattern....etc.....until....they felt that....actually....that kinda firework feeling is not there already....also what they termed it as chemistry...i suppose....(why not physics or biology...)
Anyway....both of them grew sick of each other and opt to be friends instead.....because everything they have been doing in the past few years were really like they've been frenz only all along....they dun kiss....dun hug.....dun do intimate stuffs....i mean...it's amazing and scary......someone you thought you knew....actually is a total stranger....or..."just a friend".....that kinda feeling is scary....the mere thought of it gives me the gitters.....well....sometimes i felt that....lovers....do they really need surprises everytime??? Do they really love each other everyday....minute....second....thinking of each other at all times.....misses each other frequently....which i think is mostly for those "Honeymoon" period of courtship.....which is like the early stages of a relationship....many couples break up because they knew too well of their spouse and grew sick of them already....So how/what shall we do to keep the relationship going and growing???
Found this interesting article in the website: http://www.abroadbuzz.com/articles/Relationship_Advice_for_People.asp
"7 ways to Keep Your Relationships Alive and Growing"
by Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches
The rules for relationships don't change, no matter what type they are. If there's any relationship advice that we'd give to create a great relationship, it's to begin focusing on your relationship. Focusing on your relationship can come in many forms and here are 7 simple suggestions to help you with your personal growth in this area:
1. If you want to keep your relationship alive and growing, you have to really want to keep it that way. You have to decide that the relationship is important in your life and give it the time and attention it needs. As we've said before, it doesn't matter what you say or intend about your relationship. Your actions are what speak the loudest.
Tip: Look at your actions in your relationship and make sure that they are congruent with what you say your intentions are. Are you spending enough time and energy on the relationship?
2. Focus on what you like and love about the person instead of what you don't like or gets on your nerves. We truly do get more of what we focus on. If you want to prevent infidelity, flirting with others outside the relationship, affairs, and even divorce and a relationship breakup, begin focusing on the positive in your relationship and not the negative.
Tip: Stop when you start to criticize this person, with words or even in your mind. Turn your thinking to what you like about the person and begin to see how your relationship gets better.
3. Kindness matters in relationships, so be kind. Very often, people in relationships treat the people closest to them worse than they treat acquaintances or even total strangers. Several years ago we attended a presentation by Wayne Dyer and in it, he told us that if you are choosing whether to be "right" or to be kind, always choose kindness. We think that's great advice.
Tip: This week, do something kind for someone in your life that you wouldn't normally do and without expectation of anything in return.
4. Show appreciation for others and what they mean to you. You may be thinking that you need to say "thank you" and just haven't taken the time or energy to do it. We urge you to make a habit of expressing appreciation. If you do, we think you'll find your relationships to be filled with much more happiness and joy.
Tip: Look at what someone special does for you or what they mean to you and say a word of appreciation about it to them. It might be something as simple as "I like your smile" or "Thank you for cooking dinner last night."
5. Ask for what you want. Most people expect the people who are in relationship with them to be mind readers. If you're expecting others to be psychics, you're in for a painful ride if you're in relationship with them. If you want your needs to be met, you have to tell people what these needs are. You also have to tell them in a way that they can hear them. Sometimes this takes courage, but we know that when you clearly ask for what you want, you bypass assumptions, resentments and miscommunications.
Tip: What desire have you been putting off communicating to another person? Whether it's a desire to have more "dates" alone, more romance, more help around the house, a promotion at work, or a dinner date with a friend, the only way you'll get any of these things is to ask.
6. Listen without judging or getting defensive. Be open to the possibility that someone else's opinion or way of doing things may be just as valid or important as yours. Just because their way is different, doesn't make them or you wrong. If you're constantly judging, being defensive and building walls, you're not open to possibilities and to the love that is possible between two people.
Tip: Choose someone who always seems to push your "buttons" and makes you angry or you always judge. During one conversation, just listen to this person without judging them with words or even in your mind. What did you discover?
7. Be willing to risk opening your heart and letting other people in. We can be in a relationship for many years and still not allow another person to penetrate our walls of protection. If you want to have relationships that are alive and growing, being willing to risk is a prerequisite.
Tip: Examine what walls you've built to keep others out. It might be that you "close down" and retreat when there's conflict between the two of you. It might be that you are afraid to ask for what you want. We invite you to choose one relationship where you are fearful or get triggered easily and exercise the courage to take a risk and say one thing that is real and true for you to this person.
